What do you think of my story excerpt?

You have a lot of grammatical errors, but I've seen a lot worse. I also thought it was kind of cliche, but then again, I like cliche stuff. Lastly, it seemed a little rushed. Okay, it was really rushed. That was only about 150 words, I'm guessing. That's not even half a page in a novel. You need to slow down a little and add more detail. Try emphasizing on emotions and little things like the panic on his face, the feel of the wind on the cliffs or their hair whipping about in the breeze. Small things like that can really make a difference between a novel and a short story. As my english teacher would say, don't tell the reader; SHOW the reader. It was good, but you still need to stretch it out a little. Make that excerpt last about a page or so.